Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Comics Review: Superior Spider-Man #6

Written by: Dan "El Hombre" Slott
Art by: Humberto "Strong Jaw" Ramos

What a ride last issue was, amirite?! I mean, Otto KILLED Masecre! And this one opens up at city hall, with a weird series if tweets from @screwballed. Go try following it, maybe it's a real account! Mayor Jameson is announcing that he's closing down The Raft for good! He doesn't want that revolting place on his doorstep. Then, a flash! A woman in a...street luge outfit and skates...and a dude in a jester costume, ok seriously villains need to come up with better shticks than this! Anyways, they've come to wreck some havoc on the press conference, and they're doing it LIVE!!! Jester straight pies Jameson in the face, OWNED! Then the roller chick PANTS him, BURN! Then they skate off leaving an online fan base nearly pissing themselves in laughter.

One of those in the online fan base is Peter Octavius. Or wait, Otto Parker. that's not right. Doc-Man, eh I give up. He literally does the Mwa-Ha-Ha laugh that every villain does, ever. Mwa-Ha-Ha. Soon after, Spidey gets called to city hall. Jameson wants him to hunt down the terrific duo if Screwball and Jester, well he's got better things to do than catch a bunch of clowns. Right away Jonah accuses the Web-Head of being in league with them since he doesn't want to apprehend them, good ol' J.J.! Otto eventually breaks and decides he's gonna help out and try to catch the two.

Cut to Avengers Tower. Caps considering getting rid of Spider-Man on the team. He's changed in the last couple weeks, he's brutalized his foes and even killed one. Thor even says himself when they fought Electro together, Spider-Man was wild, erratic and arrogant. Ironic Thor would call someone else arrogant, but that's a story for another review kids. Wolverine is the only one who's backing up Spidey. Everyone in that room has done some things they're not proud of. Hurt some people, gotten some blood on their hands. We shouldn't judge one member based of a couple gruesome mistakes he's made. They should sit and wait it out. That decision may just come back for Logan in a way he's just not ready for.

Otto gets to the campus of ESU just in time to meet up with Anna Maria Marconi, his tutor. She gets heckled by some college level jerks as she gets out of her car, stuff she just blows off her shoulder like it's nothing. Meanwhile, the real, dead Peter is swirling in Otto's mind every time he replays another memory from his childhood. Pete's seeing firsthand what caused Otto to become to evil man he turned into.

Back in reality, Otto actually offers to teach those punks a lesson but Anna simply tells him to forget about it. She's been told much worse things in her life. She also tells him the real reason why she called to meet him. She's arranged a second meeting with "Peter" and the Schnoz! The very teacher he offended his first day back at ESU! Halfway through their lunch, his Spider Patrol App goes off telling him one of his Spider-Bots spotted Screwball and Jester and Otto leaves the table in a rush, upsetting both The Schnoz and  Anna.

Otto rushes to the location his app told him, making a quick stop at those two douche bags before dealing with the two clowns. They start streaming love when Spidey finds them and it's a brawl right from the gate! Otto punches Screwball in the boob, quickly that's retaliated with a cheap shot to the no-no place of Otto by the Jester. In the words of Eric Cartman, "Dude...what the f**k? You don't shoot people in the d**k!"

With the world laughing at him, the tag-team start pelting Otto with paint balloons. In pure rage, Spidey rips the eyes out if his mask and the gloves are off. Anna sees what hell Otto caused the bullies. Their car is totaled and they're both trapped in the car! To what end will Otto go to for his revenge? Back to Otto's fight, he bashes the two against a pipe, then unleashes the Spidey fists of fury. All of this violence, driven by Otto's shitty childhood, that Peter was being flung through all of them and couldn't make it out into the real world, until it was too late. Some people can't take a joke, mumbles Screwball all broken, beat and scarred. Jameson's loving it, MJ knows it's not Peter in there, and even Wolverine decides the games are over.

Next issue we have the Avengers having their own War Zone with Spider-Man. How will Otto take the news of being kicked off the team of Earth's Mightiest Heroes? Will he bitterly walk away, or will he, most likely, fight it because he's not gonna take anymore rejection in his life. How will he stand up against the very best of the best? How will the Avengers be able to deal with Spider-Man AND their ever growing ordeal with the X-Men? Find out next issue of Superior Spider-Man!!! Until next week loyal readers!

Matt Milanes

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