Sunday, March 16, 2014

Comics Review: Mighty Thor #210

Written By Gerry Conway
Layouts By John Buscema
Finished Art By Don Perlin
Inks By Vinne Colletta
Colors By Glynis Wein

What’s going on, everybody? Tash Moore here with a new review for the Bronze Age Thor with The Mighty Thor #210. Lots of action and total nonsense in this review as only I can bring you in the Verbal Mosh manner. Which really means lots of typos and tons of rambling. Much like the last few months of Wizard Magazine (HIYO).

This story starts out with Gierrodur and Ulik the trolls hanging out deep beneath the Earth's crust and not just living on message boards on the internet. Go figure. Ulik is mad that Gierrodur created Thor’s hammer. If I were Ulik I too would be pissed when my best friend makes the very same weapon that always ends up handing me my hairy ass. So what does Ulik and crew plan on doing? Why killing Thor and getting rid of the hammer. For once Marvel bad guys don’t act like Bond Villains.

Meanwhile Thor is walking around the desert still feeling down about having lost Sif. You know I bet Thor would start to feel better if he I don’t know, really started a damn search for Sif instead of just moping around the world. Just saying. After a long while of walking and looking sad Thor sits down and puts his cape over him to take a nap. (No, really.) The trolls come out of the ground and lift Thor to take him to Ulik. Wow, those have to be the quietest trolls of all time. Or you know, Thor just might be a heavy sleeper. Heck, Thor might even have drooled in his sleep on a few of the poor bastards. You know you’re doing something wrong when even damn trolls are disgusted by you.

While taking sleeping Thor back to Ulik the trolls start talking and wake Thor. You can imagine Thor isn't too happy about his rest being interrupted (How dare you disturb nap time?!?!) and kicks all the trolls' asses. Ulik then steps out of the shadows and challenges Thor to a battle of epic proportions. Naturally Thor whacks Ulik with his Hammer and takes the advantage.

Ulik knows he can’t win while Thor is using his hammer so he asks Thor to fight one on one with no weapons. Then Ulik says Thor has no honor and Thor is taken aback by this and puts his hammer away. I didn’t know this was a real thing. When I go to work later today I’ll tell my boss that he doesn’t have any honor if he doesn’t promote me. I’ll be a VP by lunch. Comics don’t lie. Just like how radiation doesn’t kill you at all and only makes you super-human. Legit. What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, Thor vs. Ulik round 2. It’s about an even fight but the trolls have something evil up their sleeves. (Don’t they always?) They have a huge magical magnet and uses it to draw Thor’s hammer away from him. The hammer slams right to the magnet and the trolls throw the whole thing into a giant fire pit. So what does the Thunder God do? Why he jumps right into the giant pit right after the hammer. Great scene where all the other trolls are laughing and hugging as Thor jumps into the pit. Strangely they all look like the type of people you’d find at a high school football game.

The trolls stand around to celebrate (of course they would) the end of the (not so) Mighty Thor. With Thor gone they can now go to the surface and take over the planet. That’d be a fantastic idea. If only there weren’t a ton of other heroes waiting to stop them. They really didn’t think this out all that well. Clearly. Well that’s it for now. I’ll be back soon with the Final (yeah right) fate of Thor. I hope he makes it out of this one alright. (Sarcasm.)

-Tash Moore

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