Friday, April 11, 2014

Comics Rant: Amazing Spider-Man #327

Written by: Dave Michelinie
Art by: Erik Larsen

    The Acts of Vengeance story line keeps coming strong across all Spider-Man titles. In some side stories printed in other books, Spidey fights the Trapster and Titana all that even sparks the interest of the most vile villain in Marvel, Dr. Doom! But we're not worried about those books, because that's not what's on the cover of this Omnibus, dammit! So THIS issue starts off with Pete and MJ at home, and Pete's showing off some of his new skills. Mainly the one that involves his webbing. It can now form different shapes as long as he just thinks it! That's all! That's it! This is incredible! He can be Spider-Man from his damn couch!!! Anywho, he does his usual "I feel guilty." trip and MJ kicks his ass back into play and kicks him out to go find work! Maybe it wasn't as mean as that, but maybe it was. Elsewhere, we have an awkward meeting if villains all reading about Spider-Man. The Kingpin, Dr. Doom, Magneto and the Wizard are all looking back on the half assed success for Graviton from the previous issue. It's time for another, more badass figure to step into the ring with the spider. Enter: Magneto!

    Magneto makes his way to a park in New York to start his search for the spider, not knowing that Peter Parker is at his school, ESU, looking to see if his science doctor boss dude bro man guy Dr. Lubich needs any help with anything that day. Unfortunately, Lubich thinks Parker was snooping and kicks him out for the day, awesome. Now he might as well go and try to test out these new cosmic powers. Best place to do that without hurting anyone? The local junk yard! Ain't that convenient, since he's fighting Magneto this issue? Oh, comic book. While lowing up cars, the junkyard worker makes a quick phone call to the local gossip news hotline. Shouldn't be long before the fun starts.

    And that's about how long it takes exactly before Magneto shows up, and the shards of metal start flying! Doesn't look good for Spidey though, as Magneto increases the magnetic pull in his body and sticks Spider-Man to a giant weight press meant for picking up cars! He then tosses it like it was nothing, with the full intention of crushing the spider, if there was ever a time to thank whatever god you follow, now is it. Remember how Spider-Man can now change the physical property of things with his mind? Ok, cool, foreshadowing! He turns the weight and chains to glass just as they hit the ground and it all shatters, leaving Spider-Man completely NOT squashed! Yayayayay!

    The fight ain't over yet, kids! Magneto whips up some empty cars and launches everything he's got at our hero, nothing a giant webbed bat can't stop though! Home run! Grand slam! Boom, it's outta here!!! I really hope that doesn't come back and bite Spidey in the ass though. Damn wait, did I just jinx it? Spider-Man's pissed off now and he's coming for Magneto's neck, that is until his new super hearing kicks in. Remember when I jinxed this whole thing? Well yeah, that car Spidey smacked away ended up flying into a boat and now its sinking! I mean, seriously? Of all the places on Earth for that car to land, it has to land into a boat?! Did it just miss the animal shelter? Luckily, thanks to those awesome new cosmic powers, Spider-Man can fly! Welcome everyone to Marvel's Superman prior to 1986 when Superman could make up new powers on the fly (get it) whenever he wanted! But back to the action, Spidey flies over to the burning boat and brings the whole thing back over to shore and everyone is safe. In that time, Magneto was able to make his escape, realizing that Spider-Man is not a mutant whose gene came forth late in life since it normally takes the form of one power whereas Spider-Man now has like 80.

    So now everyone is safe and sound and the bad guy got away, wait that's not how its supposed to happen. Oh well, welcome to life kids! Peter is left to go home to MJ again, oh poor him. Now he's concerned about his new powers, what could this mean the next time he uses his powers? He may end up doing more damage than he wants, and with the star of the next issue, Spidey probably won't have to take all the blame for the damage. Be back in a week where we continue the Act Of Vengeance!

-Matt Milanes

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