Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Comics Rant: Mighty Thor #220

Written By Gerry Conway
Pencils By John Buscema
Inks By Mike Esposito
Colors By Glynis Wein

Well this is it! The big finish to my Bronze Age recap or rant or whatever you want to call it on the Mighty Thor. There’s been tons of up’s and down’s with some of these issues. But it always felt (to me anyway) that the story was the thing that was a bit lacking. It overreached at times and just came off as down right goofy. But hey, in a world where a dude can get bit by a radioactive spider and NOT end up with six arms and kneel over and die, I guess the whole genre is a bit goofy, now isn’t it?

So Thor and his crew along with Avalon now have to deal with the Black Stars (Yo.) The Black Stars are pretty much Galactus, in a sense. They want to blow up our Galaxy to collect the raw (uncooked?)
energy back to their home world. Well unlike Galactus, once a world has been consumed they don’t have to run off somewhere and break out the fucking cosmic treadmill to work off all those extra pounds.

In true Thor fashion, Thor decides that the best way to beat the Black Stars is to kick their asses. Every last one of them. But sadly Thor’s plan is pretty flawed (It always is.) Once he comes face to face to the Black Stars he learns that they are humanoid. Also that they are so massively huge that Thor is like an Ant to them. He swings his magic hammer to knock someone out and poof…….nothing. To the Black Stars it’s just like when you get a bug bite. A small sting at first but then you forget about it. Clearly Thor and his half ass plan just ain’t gonna cut it. Now that I think about it, most of what has gone down in this book, Thor has pretty much half assed everything then just got lucky. I’m surprised he hasn’t tripped himself up in his own damn cape.

So just how in the world does Thor and crew save us and the day? Why they just talk it out. Avalon, who is the cyborg created to work to do the Black Stars' bidding has decided it’s a much better idea to save mankind instead of killing us. ( Good Call.) So Thor and the gang start a dialogue with the leader of the Black Stars. He says that in order for his planet to live they need to take the energy from our planets. Then Thor’s all like “Hey man, when was the last time you even contacted your planet to see how it was doing?” Then the lead Black Star was like “You know what dude? It has been a good long while, let’s give em’ a ring.”  Trust me, it happened just like that.

So with one intergalactic phone call made, the Black Stars' home planet is dead from not advancing itself or something and the bad guys ask Thor for forgiveness and give him a gift card to red lobster for his trouble. Or maybe they just helped him get home. I like my version better. It’s more realistic. That’s the finish. Story was like re-reading the fucking Wake all over again. Fantastic Art by Big John Buscema but Gerry Conway was wonky as all shit on these tales. Thankfully Walt Simonson would save this book and keep it grounded in the Norse Myths to get it back on track to greatness. That’s all I got. Next up will be a review of the Bronze Age Fantastic Four. Join me in like a week. I hope.

-Tash Moore

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