Written By Brian Azzarello
Art By Cliff Chiang
Colors By Matthew Wilson
Hey there, gang. Tash Moore here and it’s my turn to hit you all up with the pick of the week. Seeing as how this was my week ( Or really last weeks) to pick I went with Wonder Woman #33. If you’ll settle down I’ll get to why in just a few moments. This has been one of the most fun and consistent books since the New 52 launched almost more than two years ago. Hey, creative team over on Batman! This is how you write a compelling story and keep at it. Ahem, anyway Wonder Woman is in a real bind here. No legit, she is tied up.
By whom you might ask. Why it’s the First Born. And Wonder Woman ain’t just tied up for nothing. For once it’s not for anything erotic. (Maybe?) The First Born wants Wonder Woman for his bride. Hey buddy, don’t you know she’s going out with Superman? He must not read Superman/Wonder Woman. Along with 85% of fucking everyone else (HIYO). So since Wonder Woman is deciding to be her own (Wonder) woman she decides that she can’t just get down with the First Born. At least here Diana has morals. But don’t you guys worry none.
David Finch and his wife will soon be here to get rid of that! Along with any competent storytelling to boot. (Yup.) Hey you know it’s true. For the most part David Finch is Jim Lee lite. Hell, how does this guy keep getting monthly work? I bet that poor motherfucker is still slumped over his desk trying to finish Batman the Dark Knight!!! ( You know he is.)
Whoops, got off track here. Wonder Woman doesn’t want to marry the First Born so he sends his minions ( Not the ones from Despicable Me) to attack Paradise Island and kill everyone on it. Wow, that First Born, he sure knows how to win a woman over. The Amazons seemed to be overrun, until Orion of the New Gods shows up. It’s funny because Orion fancies himself a legit tough guy.
Orion shows up and gets his butt pretty much handed to him. Hell, I’ll give him credit for standing up to the hordes just long enough to receive royalties in this issue. He then goes back to cash said check, while Darkseid goes “Yoink” and takes the cash away while running down a hill. Okay, that last part may have only taken place in the far reaches of my mind. So where was I? Oh yeah, the Amazons are outnumbered and outmatched. Wonder Woman still says no to a wedding with the First Born. So if you can’t get them to marry you, I guess you kill them. The First Born stabs Wonder Woman in the back and assuming the worst, lets her bleed out to death. Back in Paradise Island, Wonder Woman’s mother, who was turned to stone wayyyyyy back in issue #1 is up and joining the fight. But here’s the thing! She’s still made of stone. Strange for sure.
Great tale full of action and drama. Really those are the key components in a good comic book and this had it in spades. Also hats off to the entire creative team, but I did want to say that the cover was simply amazing and while Cliff Chiang is a totally awesome artist, my hats off to Matthew Wilson who is really the unsung hero of the book. I mean look at those colors. They make the cover just pop! In a good way I mean, but I guess you already knew that.
That’s it for me. In the coming weeks I’ll be giving you my (Worthless ass) opinions of all the notes and noise that came out of San Diego Comic Con 2014, so keep an eye out for that. Oh and I’m ready to open wiiiiiidddde for some football! Wait, no. That doesn’t sound quite right. I’ll work on it.