Saturday, November 15, 2014

Comics Rant: Fantastic Four #195

Fantastic Four #195
Written By Marv Wolfman
Pencils By Keith Pollard
Inks By P. Marcos
Colors By P.Rache

We are off to the races with this newest rant of the Bronze Age Fantastic Four. This takes us to the golden coast of California. To Hollywood,to be exact. Susan Storm Richards is in Hollywood, filming a TV show. Just what the show is, I really can’t say. Hey, this ain’t my story, it’s just my rant. Anyway, Sue gets called into the office of the gentleman who owns the company and who is it? Why, it’s Namor! Didn’t see that coming. (Okay, I lied. Do you people NOT see the cover.) Covers aside, Namor bought the company way back in Fantastic Four #9 and just plain forgot. Hey, when you are the complete lord and master of the Underwater worlds, little things like that could totally slip your mind. Running a whole Kingdom, That’s important. Running a film company, not so much. So sayeth, Namor!

So Namor has got problems. (Who doesn’t?) But Namor’s problem is legit huge. Turns out back in his home of Atlantis his people start thinking of him as a God. And by God, I mean like, “Touch me, Namor, so that I can be healed!” Namor doesn’t totally feel comfortable with all that and is all like “Peace out, y’all.” Yup. It happened just like that. Okay, maybe it didn’t. But admit it, you’d think that was pretty cool if Namor did say that. Ahem. So Namor fled to the sanest place he knew, Hollywood. Really,dude?
You want to get away from super fucking religious people and you go to Hollywood?!?! That’s like saying you like clean living, then start doing crack out in an alley while stepping on used needles.

So yeah, Namor is in Hollywood and then runs into Sue Richards. He then tells her his plight. Then she gives him the whole “I love you as a friend” deal. Suffice to say, Namor is the first dude to be dumped into the friend zone. Loser. So while Namor makes googly eyes with Sue some robots tear down Namor’s office wall and attack him. They are the Retrievers! They have been sent by Namor’s people to bring him back so he can be loved. We all know that Namor is a slave to no man, so he fights them. Things go south when he’s shocked and dries out. Without water Namor starts to loose his strength.

Sue steps to help Namor by breaking his giant ass fish tank in his office. The water gives Namor his strength and Powers back. The two of them make short work of the Retrievers by having them attack each by way of just simply moving out of the way while their mechanical arms went swaying. Which is pretty much textbook villain fighting in the Marvel U. Namor then talks about how being king is also like being in prison. I never knew that in Atlantis, they forced Namor to wear heels and make up. Oh, he meant not having free will. Or something.

Namor then decided that he can’t run a company but should just go back to his people and try to show them he’s no God, but just a man. You know, Namor you could have saved everyone some grief if you, I don’t know, figured out this twenty two pages ago and didn’t have to blow up your office and robot Retrievers. Sue wishes him well and says like three more times “ Don’t forget we friends.” She them holds up and points to her wedding ring to Namor. Way to be suttle there, Sue. And that’s about it. Namor goes back to the water and Sue wants to see her Husband. That’s where we end this. Not much to is really. But I’ll give it it’s due that the action panels were really nice. The story was a bit lacking, but I think that was more or less new writer, Marv Wolfman, getting his bearings on the title. I’m sure it’ll pick up soon. The art by Pollard is pretty good. He does his best John Buscema act here and the storytelling has a fluid flow to it. It makes up for the sometimes lacking story. So yeah, it’s serviceable.

-Tash Moore

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