Monday, March 23, 2015

Comics Rant: Wolverine #1

Wolverine #1
Written By Chris Claremont
Pencils By Frank Miller
Inks By Josef Rubenstein
Colors By Glynis Wein

Hot damn, there was a time when Wolverine didn’t even have his own ongoing title. I mean it would be about 1988 before that happened. But this tale bring Chris Claremont (before he fucked the X-Men titles up) and Frank Miller (Just before he fuck up uhhmmm, his life? I don’t know.) bringing you a tale of a hairy Canadian who truly just wants to be Asian. Wait, What? Before everyone and their best friends got a book, most guys had to get a mini series to test the waters so to speak, then if sales were high they’d get an ongoing. So this is pretty much a tale to see if people would pay for Wolverine doing his own thing.

This issue has that Frank Miller noir vibe that really isn’t noir but it’s before Miller totally just said “Fuck it” and just did scratch lines in his work and then running to the bank to cash the check before the editor could check to see what they had paid for. Yup.
We get Wolverine in the woods and he fights a bear! That’s right, Dear reader, a fucking Bear! The bear kills some state troopers and a few women and kids. Wolverine follows him with his super smell to his cave and Wolverine cuts his arm off then kills him dead. Huh, who knew Wolverine was such a kind hearted guy. But this bear didn’t just start killing for no reason. He’s been drugged but a hunter who was out there attacking bears illegally. Again, I had no idea that Wolverine was a play by the rules type dude. I’d better be sure to get my taxes done, less a dude who isn’t even from this country comes and cuts me up.

So Wolverine follows the smell of the hunter to a bar and kicks the crap out of him. This isn’t some crappy pull apart. Wolverine puts this sad son of a bitch in the hospital. Good for you, Wolverine. Wolverine returns to the X-Men’s Mansion and gets some mail. Good to know super hero’s get mail like you or me. I wonder how this guy pays his bills. Anyway, Wolvie get’s a letter saying that his Ex, Mariko Yashida has been married. Wolverine can’t be having that, so he’s all like “No Way, Baby” and flies to Japan to sort this out. When he gets there he thrown on his X-Men duds then goes to see Mariko.

After taking out her guards, he finds Mariko crying. She tells him that her Father “Who she thought was dead but  is really alive”  is back and made her marry a business partner to pay off some debt. Dude, couldn’t just take out a loan. Talk about harsh. So Wolverine wants her to just up and leave with him, but you know how that goes. I mean it’s only normal for a woman to d what her father who’s sold her into a slave marriage would do? Wait, what? So Mariko’s Father shows up and uses some poison darts on our boy. You know, Her Father Shingen could have just asked Wolverine to, I don’t know, leave. Would have worked for me. But then again I don’t have a mutant healing factor.

Speaking of Wolverine’s healing factor, that’s what saves him from being taken out by the poison from earlier. Wolverine is in a bad way, so Shingen wants to dual with wooden swords. Shingen is basically calling Wolverine a little sissy boy. Shingen has the upper hand with Wolverine feeling woozy, kicks the crap out of Wolverine then just tosses his metal ass out on the street. Taking out the thrash!? Shingen thinks so. Plus this leads to lots of bad guys laughing. But hey, it’s just the first issue. Great stuff here, great build too as you really want Shingen and his goofy grin gets whats coming to him. I know I can’t wait.

-Tash Moore

No comments:

Post a Comment