Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Comics Rant: Captain America #5

Captain America #5
Written By Mark Waid
Pencils By Ron Garney
Inked By John Beatty
Colors By Joe Rosas

More of Captain America’s team up time. This time Cap is kicking Hydra ass with The Mighty Thor. Since Captain America declared war on Hydra, he’s enlisted the Avengers to help him out. But just in the shadow’s the Sensational Hydra makes an intro to attack Cap, but he fails and is forced to flee. At least this Sensational Hydra knows when he’s beat and makes for the hills. So with the bad guys being taken into custody, what’s next for our two heroes? They go to Brooklyn of course.

So Thor takes Cap to Brooklyn to grab a bite to eat. It’s a crappy ass diner so I’m guessing that’s why it’s only Cap and Thor in the damn place. This diner makes most of this crappy ass hole in the wall places look like a five star restaurant. Also, does Thor even carry any fucking money on him? Thor wants Mead, but they ain’t got any. So Captain America orders him a milkshake. Clearly,
these two are interchangeable. Or not. Thor even makes a weird face when said shake shows up. Cap orders a cheeseburger, natch.

So hipster Cap and Thor are watching the boob tube as it was called in 1998 when this comic was published. Hashtag back in  the day. So on TV, Sensational Hydra has taken some poor souls hostage, and only can the arrival of Captain America can save these poor bastards. So that’s the plan, Hostages held by Sensational Hydra, at the Empire State Building. Cap has to come alone, since he’s been using the Avenger’s has been helping Captain America out as of late.

The media has gathered outside the ESB and try to ask Cap some questions. Questions? What the fuck is wrong with the media? “Hey Cap, if you don’t save those people and Hydra kills them, Will you give me a winner for this years Super Bowl?” Most people who work in the media are fucking morons. Well, except me, of course. So some nosey ass reporter follows Captain America into the building, which as you can tell, makes this guy a moron.

After fighting a ton of floors to get to the hostages, the reporter, who kind of looks like Jim Gordon, turns into Sensational Hydra! Gasp! But Sensational Hydra is a Skrull! So are the damn hostages! This whole making Captain America a huge star in the minds of the American people so they can tear him down. Turns out the Skrulls are still pretty damn mad that no matter what the FF and even Spider-Man have made the Skrulls into their bitches. So Sensational Hydra turns into Captain America while the Skrulls take the real Cap away to stash him. Skrull Cap is now free to screw up Cap’s legacy.

This was a real crazy way to turn this whole story on it’s ear. I’ll admit that it was a pleasure to be surprised at a modern comic. Waid and company can do no wrong, if you let me tell it. This guy has been a godsend to modern comics, with his Silver Age style of storytelling. It’s get better from here.

-Tash Moore

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