Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Comics Rant: New X-Men #114

New X-Men # 114
Written By Grant Morrison
Pencils By Frank Quitely
Inks By Tim Townsend
Colors By Brian Haberlin

It’s a bold new direction for the X-Men….circa 2001. Grant Morrison, before he went totally batshit crazy and Frank Quitley before he went totally bats hit lazy tackle Marvel’s Merry Mutants. Sales were starting to slow down after the X-Men reboot of 2000. I blame Chris Claremont and he half ass re tellings of the same stories he wrote. In 1980! (Coughhackcough) Marvel turned to the guy who breathed new life into Animal Man (Not if you ask Mark Millar) and the guy who once actually penciled a monthly book in the pages of The Authority to take on the monthly adventures of Wolverine and crew. Let’s face it, by the year 2000 it was all about the Wolverine. Shit, this title should just have been Wolverine and friends….who aren’t Wolverine. Just in case you didn’t know.

Our story starts off with Wolverine along with Cyclops saving a mutant named Ugly John from some Sentinels in Australia. Great scene where Wolverine was burned and shot to hell and he healed up right in his seat and even dug out some bullets while complaining it’s a pain when the skin grows around the bullet. This guy is tough in case you haven’t noticed. So you should. Clearly, this is the point that Morrison is trying to get across. Back in New York and the Xavier School of Higher Learning aka Big Ass Mutant Training Base, Prof. X and Beast has created a much better version of Cerebro named Cerebra! Also Beast looks like a big cat, now. Why? Because fuck you, it’s a comic by Grant Morrison, that’s why.

Prof. X is learning that new Mutants are popping up all over the world and it’s his place to teach them to love and use their gifts for the greater good and all that jazz. You know, the usual. Beast notices that there was a strange flair in Ecuador or as Moe Syzslak would say, “One of them loser countries!” So Charlies sends Wolverine and Cyclops along with Ugly John to check it out. Way to totally not endanger the motherfucker that you just save. Jerks. But there’s a twist. There’s a woman who completely looks like Prof. X and she’s with a member of the Trask family. You know, he’s the son of the guy who first created the Sentinels way back in Uncanny X-Men #3 or something. I’m lazy so YOU looked it up. Email me later if I was right.

Seems like the U.S. Government was funding an illegal Sentinels operation there and they kind of left a Master Mold behind. Damn thing even runs off organic matter if need be. It strippminded the whole city to build new Sentinels. Talk about using the resources of the land. The Woman who looks like Prof X. is called Cassandra Nova and the only reason she brings the Trask family member with her because thanks to him having Trask DNA lets him take total control of the Master Mold. This dude doesn’t want to wipe out Mutants, he’s just a damn dentist who thinks he’s there to preform an  emergency root canal on the President. Moron. Oh, and Cassandra Nova uses some strange Mutant power to backlash Cerebra and put Prof. X into a coma. Damn.

Fun issue and it started off with a bang back with both guys were still going out there with something to prove and Marvel under the creative direction of a young Joe Quesada was firing on all cylinders at this point. Solid issue from all involved. My brown thumb is up!

-Tash Moore

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