Friday, June 19, 2015

Comics Rant: Superman #1

Superman #1
Written & Penciled by John Byrne
Inks By Terry Austin
Colors By Tom Ziuko

There was a time where Superman was the number one title in the industry. It’s was the 1980’s and it was his 50th birthday. Normally, 50 years old is over the hill and then you get put in one of those crooked homes seen on 60 mins. (Simpson!) But it’s a time where a reboot really meant something. Plus that reboot was written and drawn by John Freaking Byrne! This was a big deal because back in the day John Byrne was pretty much money in the bank and despite what Chris Claremont will tell you, That Uncanny X-Men team was clearly held together by Byrne.

So Byrne is taking over the monthly title and stealing, I mean bringing X-Men/ Fantastic Four partner Terry Austin with him. Take your lazy ass back and read Byrne’s Man of Steel Mini Series cuz I ain’t doing it here. I’m lazy, too! So what. Well, Lex Luthor here is the Million Dollar Man, you know, being rich and doing what he damn well
 pleases. You know, kind of like Vince McMahon. Minus the hair. Oh, and the whole steroid trial thing. The issue starts out with Superman finding an old lab with tons of Photos of the Man of Steel himself. Think TMZ many, many years before it ever hit the airwaves. Supes does what any normal person would do. Why, he flies around at super speed and moves the whole lab into the nice cool vacuum of space. I mean, it was the right thing to do. There was a dead body in there and much like Ricard Nixon, Superman just wasn’t ready to turn the evidence over to the police.

By the way, I think we need to get out there just how awesome Tom Ziuko is a colorist. From this title to Hellblazer, that guy is without a doubt an unsung hero to the comics medium. Whatever DC is paying him, it’s not enough. And knowing how damn cheap Paul Levitz was, they were probably paying him with I.O.U.’s. The cheap fuck. Ahem. But Superman has other things to deal with. Not as Superman but as Clark Kent. He’s got a date to fun in the park with Lois Lane. Supes knows he can get with Lois at anytime he wants but he’d rather do it as Clark Kent. Oh, that Clark is such an honest guy. You know, minus the whole lying to everyone on the planet Earth, but hey, he sure write a mean editorial. When not stealing scoops from Lois. No wonder she hates Clark. Dude did sneak to some underhanded tactics to get the gig at the Daily Planet.

While out for a run, the alarms at a nearby bank go off (how convenient.) and Lois and Clark (Heh.) go off to get the skinny on what’s going down. But it’s a trap by Metallo to lure Superman to him. Clark takes the ol’ hit from the bad guy and sent flying and then finds a phone booth somewhere off panel and puts on his Superman duds. But Metallo gets the upper hand when Big Blue shows up. Metallo goes into the whole bad guy origin tale for the Superman and the reader. Thanks, Metallo (Metellall?). He was injured and the dead body Superman found in that lab in the beginning of the issue is the lifeless body of the mad doctor who gave Metallo his new body. Along with a Kryptonite heart.

So yeah, Metallo starts kicking the complete crap out of Superman. Supes tries to stand up and fight but the Kryptonite is pushing the solar cells out of Superman and killing him at the same time. Someone remind this guy never to pick up the Pert Plus with Kryptonite in it. It’ll be fatal, and fresh smelling. But the plot gets thickened with Action News  showing the battle and Lex Luthor can see what’s going on. “If anyone is going to kill Superman, it’s gonna be me!!!! Also someone get me some coins to swim around in!”  Okay, Lex didn’t say all that, but he totally should have. Before Superman can bite the dust and DC can’t make anymore money off him, a black flash happens and Metallo is gone. Superman wondering if Luthor lent a hand? Great action and the artwork along with the pacing was truly on the spot. DC should give these guys a blank check to compensate them. Thumbs up.

-Tash Moore

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