Monday, July 6, 2015

Comics Rant: New X-Men #127

New X-Men #127
Written By Grant Morrison
Pencils By John Paul Leon
Inks By Bill Sienkiewicz
Colors By Hi Fi Design

Hey there, gang. Tash Moore her and I was going to do the whole Morrison run of New X-Men, but between driving back from the Jersey Shore and being so damn lazy that I didn’t want to pull down lots of my long boxes to get the rest of his work so my lazy ass is skipping ahead. Much like Grant himself does, skipping the part where his stories make any sense and just skip right to the part where he cashes his check and jams on his bass. Aw I kid. Not about being lazy, but Grant rocking out on the bass. He’s probably tone deaf.

Uhmm, so yeah. Xorn is chilling with Prof. X.  Xorn is so nice that he’s given the good Professor the use of his legs back. For like the millionth time. I think the X-Man uniform that Charlie is rocking ought to be made out of whatever the hell they make those airplane black boxes with. Because you know some crazy shit is going to make him rolling around America in his wheelchair again. I could just picture him robbing Moe’s Tavern. (“The next place he robs better have a Wheelchair ramp!”)  Oh wait, there’s a story going in here.

Xorn then walks into Mutant Town, which is located in NYC. Stupid hipsters. Then he walks around and then laments on being a Mutant. The he runs into a giant purple mutant who really is a kid but more looks like Barney the Dinosaur on steroids. (TM Vince McMahon.) The kid breaks out of his apartment that he shared with his Moms and then yet again, the NYPD guns down another innocent man. Holy shit, Morrison could see the future. Some editor at Marvel needs to pick up on this with shirts with the mutant boy on it along with the whole, “I can’t breathe!” message on it. It’ll be great….and in poor taste.  Xorn then goes back to being Xorn…..or something.

This issue left a bad taste in my mouth that not even the great artwork of John Paul Leon could save it. Grant needs to get away from being Alan Moore, Jr. and get back to the righting bad guys in spandex mode, stat! We’ll get to that with issue #128. I hope.

-Tash Moore

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