Thursday, July 23, 2015

Comics Rant: New X-Men #128

New X-Men #128
Written By Grant Morrison
Drawn By Igor Kordey
Colored By Dave McCaig

Mutants, spoons and morally questionable weirdos and by that I’m talking about the X-Men. Tash Moore back again and I’m still running through the Morrison X-Men run. Yeah, I skipped a few (lots) issues. But hey, unless you want to come to my home and dig them out of the longbox that’s totally on the bottom, I clearly ain’t going to get to it. But if  you do make it here, I’ll force you to write up the reviews yourself, you lazy bum. I’m like a life coach, despite not caring or bothering to use spell-check. Yup. So lets move on with Igor Kordey, who at this point was switicing back and forth on the art chores with Ethan Van Scciver because Frank Quietly must have injured himself cashing his sweet ass Marvel Paycheck. Marvel, the only place that fucking pays you not to work. So long as your last name is Bendis or Fraction.

Ahem getting along with this story, Jean and Prof. X are in France. No word yet on if the French completely surrendered when the X-Men entered the country. You see, because they have no backbone, or something. So Jean and Prof. X has taken the ashes of the mutants in France and created X International. This NATO but you know,  with more dudes in spandex and powers. Prof. X has expanded the roll of the X-Men around the globe to help other mutants who are in need. Talking about stretching your team thin. More as this story goes, Prof. X is slowly turning into George W. Bush at the height of the Iraq war. Soon he’ll be so desperate for bodies, he’ll be tossing motherfuckers who don’t even have powers out of planes to help out! Now that I think about it, that more likely sounds like a Magneto deal.

X-Men Europe are dispatched to lend a hand with a train crash (not Amtrak.) and do the whole rescue thing, but there’s also a strong mutant life form there and they are needed to investigate that, too. So off they go. Jean and the Professor stay behind. The lazy fucks. Aww, I kid. There is a reason for them staying behind. Jean is worried that the Phoenix might be back and Cyclops is getting worried. He don’t wanna deal with that again. He clearly don’t wanna deal with Jean’s crazy ass mood swings. That’s it. Clearly. So Prof. X comes to the conclusion that yeah, The Phoenix is back. Yikes! So much for Cyclops fears not coming true. Jerks.

  The European police are chasing a mutant named Fantomex and he breaks into X-International and demands sanctuary. Fantometx basically calls the X-Men’s bluff and looks for a hand to keep the European police off his pearly white ass. So it looks like Jean and Charles have no choice but to help him. But Fantomex also has bad news, turns out that X-Men Europe come across Weapon XII and guess what? They dead. Don’t worry gang, they weren’t and X-Men you care about. I know Grant Morrison didn’t care.

The final two pages have Cyclops talking to someone who’s in the shadows about how he and Jeans marriage is pretty much a sham and he can’t stand her. He loves her, but by gawd, he can’t be with her anymore. Turns out the person he’s talking to is Emma Frost, and it looks like things are about to get crazy……with sexy results. Good issue, Krodey’s work gets better as he goes on. One thumb up.

-Tash Moore

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