Friday, July 31, 2015

Comics Rant: New X-Men #129

New X-Men #129
Written By Grant Morrison
Drawn By Igor Kordey
Colored By Dave McGaig

Fantomex is still around and he ain’t going anywhere. Well, you know, other than wanting to go home. Tash Moore and we continue to tell you the tale of Prof. X and Jean Grey along with Fantomex in France……stupid French. The French Government wants Fantomex, because of something. But Prof. X ain’t giving him up. Something about morals or some such. So Jean, Charles and Fantomex go on the run to Fantomex’s home. Which happens to be this super awesome giant house built in the French Mountains. He also lives with his momma, which kind of takes away any cool factor about him. I imagine Fantomex yelling at his mother to “not touch his stuff.” Which I think translates into “Don’t drink all my orange juice” in normal speak.

Oh and Fantomex’s mom doesn’t suspect that her pride and joy is really a rich mutant thief who steals state secrets and government documents because she’s blind. Talk about convenience. Fantomex has the goods on what the French X-Men are fighting which is Weapon XII or Weapon 12. Wolverine being known as Weapon X or 10. He’ll like Windows, which is clearly why Wolvie can’t multitask without slowing down or crashing all together.

Chuck want’s Fantomex to gift this information to his school, but Fantomex didn’t get filthy rich buy gifting things. He says that Prof. X is worth 3 billion dollars. And Cyclops makes over a million dollars a year!!! Man, Cyclops better hopes that Jean never decides to leave his wimpy ass. She’d get half and his ruby quartz visor in the divorce. Mutant love, FTW! Fantomex takes the time to self operate and remove the slugs from his body from back when he was running from the French Police to begs Prof. X and Jean. You mean the French police made contact? Color me surprised. I would have figured that the French, upon seeing our boy Fantomex, they would have just laid down and given up. Hey, it’s science, you can’t fight it.

So turns out the members of X-Corporation ( that’s such a bad name.) aren’t all dead. A few remain alive, but Weapon XII which is human and mutant DNA mixed with Nano Sentinel tech is mankind's last hope to kill off the mutant populace is doing it’s job but it can be hurt. So Fantomex, Jean and Charles head off to see if they can lend a hand to the remaining living X-Corp members and kill Weapon XII in the process. Fantomex also hits in Jean. Hey, pal, she only likes dudes who only cover part of their face. Not all of it! Quick, If Wolverine want’s a shot he better break out that big ass Yellow mask he used to rock circa 1980’s. It’s an interesting story but Igor Kordey’s art hasn’t quite gelled yet, but when it does it’s pretty neat. As for Morrison, you guys pretty much know how I feel. The story was a bit too dense but it was kind of compelling. Like having one more beer, when you know you should stop. Good idea at the time, but boy do you pay for it the next morning. Meaning Grant Morrison’s writing sometimes gives me a hangover.

-Tash Moore

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