Sunday, July 26, 2015

Comics Rant: Superman #3

Superman #3
Written & Penciled By John Byrne
Inked By Terry Austin
Colored By Tom Ziuko

Shit! Just about two months into the rebooted Superman by John Byrne and already we get a crossover that spans the entire DC comics line of titles. Good thing that DC learned their lesson and didn’t ever do that again. Oh. They didn’t? Meh. Something’s just never change. I for one am totally burned out on these line wide crossovers. But at least of this tale they got the New Gods. No word on if the folks over at DC paid any royalties to Jack Kirby. So yeah, John Byrne has been called on to turn chicken shit into chicken salad. All without having to carry Chris Claremont on his back.

The book beings with Lois Lane
meeting a man named G., Gordon Godfrey. Who, thankfully doesn’t look anything like G. Gordon Liddy at all. (Subtle.) Godfrey is running a crusade agains’t Superheroes like Batman and our boy Superman for holding humans back and not allowing them to reach their full potential. Somehome, Plastic Man didn’t show up on that list. Go figure. Ahem, so Lois is getting roughed up by Godfrey and then boom, we cut away from her. Now that I think about it, Lois isn’t seen again for the rest of the issue. You can blame it on suspense…..or poor plotting. We go right to Clark Kent running from some strange beams that are chasing him all over Metropolis. But since Clark is really Superman (Gasp!) he can’t be caught by the beams.

While avoiding the beams, Clark jumps into the sewers hoping to continue to evade the beams he runs into some sewer worker and get blasted by the beams and winds up on Apokolips standing in front of Darkseid no less!!!! John Byrne draws a menacing Darksied, and now that I think about it, I wonder how cool it would be to see him draw some of the new villains at Marvel now. But that ain’t goanna happen. But hey, I can dream can’t I?

Oh, yeah and the Phantom Stranger is there, too. But Darkseid is all pissed off that there’s not Superman in front of him, just some plan human goober in glasses. Luckily, Stranger is there and helps Supes maintain his secret identity. Good for him. So Superman is thrown into the dog heap that is the underbelly of Apokolips. Superman does the whole two page spread going into detail about the history of the New Gods and their war with Darkseid. Which would totally come to an end if the All Father and Darkseid just met with President Carter at Camp David for one weekend. If it’s good for the Middle East, then it’s good enough for them, dammit!

With the underlings of the planet standing up to Darkseids rule, which is clearly a big no no. So into the giant inferno fire you go. Supes tries to do the whole boy scout thing, (not tying knots) and tries to save lives. But as per usual Superman gets into a fight and then gets his big blue ass tossed into the raging fire. Can Big Blue survive. One word. Yep. With the story having to be played out over so many issues this felt condensed as all hell. I bet this is the first comic book that Bendis read, allowing him to put as little as he can in an issue to stretch the damn thing out. I kid, of course, (Do I?) But it was fun and it’s always a blast to see Byrne Draw Darkseid. My thumb is up.

-Tash Moore

Comic books introduced Tash to the Scarlet Spider, and life is good because of it. He likes keeping it real. His favorite movies include The Dark Knight trilogy and usually anything by the Coen brothers.

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