Monday, July 13, 2015

Reboots and Relaunches July 2015


Tash Moore here, and I’m yet again going to rant and rave with all the news and such from Comic Con 2015. Hey, remember when Comic Con was about comics? No? Neither does the motherfuckers who put on this con. Mark my words folks, Comic Con will stay in San Diego until 2018! Which is when Comic Con will leave along with the NFL Chargers. It’ll happen, you wait and see. Ahem, So Trailer’s is all that you see now a days and SDCC had tons, so I’ll just have a few things to say about that.



Batman V. Superman V. Lex’s Wig!

Bah! Only Zack Snyder could take a trailer and make people NOT want to go see his movie. That’s Snyder for ya, But hey, you get to see Wonder Woman, and look she’s uhh, standing and then, uhmm, doing something. What a way to sell a movie. Marvel/Disney take notes. The quickly burn them cause this shit ain’t working. But other than that, Ben Affleck  will star and direct a stand alone Batman film.  The Jury is still out on Batfleck. I tell you, Warner would have been better off by driving a large truck of money to Christopher Nolan’s house and signed him to direct and then get out of his way. But hey, you gotta love Jesse Eisenberg in that flowing red wig. Maybe he’s born with it, or maybe it’s Kryptonite poisoning!






Squad Works!

Shit, the Suicide Squad Trailer looks better than Batman V Superman. And that’s saying something because it’s got Will Smith in it. Let’s be honest and call a spade a spade, Will Smith is awful and will do anything for a check ( Fresh Prince!) Hell, he even married Jada in a power play. But it looks like all the people who were shitting on Jared Leto as the Joker. He looks creepy which is what you really want and shit even Rebooted Kyle Reese, Jai Courtney himself is Capt Boomerang. This looks like it could be a sleeper hit for the folks at Warner/DC. I would give this the Tash Moore seal of approval if they took Will Smith out and getting Black Dynamite himself to fill in as Deadshot. Make it happen, DC, make it happen.





Batman meets the President.


Lord knows I have tons of comics. I’ve been reading and collecting them for over 20 years. I found Batman: Ten Nights of the Beast. That’s right Batman vs. the KGBeast. It was a mini series withing a regular series. Dan Raspier (who was the Junior editor under Denny O’Neil at the time) came up with this idea to do a special cover to boost sells, so if you see Dan , thank him for the gimmick. Oh, and punch him in the back of the head cause he lead us to “Secret Wars 2015” and Grant Morrison on crack, better known as “Anything he’s every done.” Yup. So The KGBeast wants to stop the Star Wars program set up by Pres. Reagan. Shit, that motherfucker should have just waited, Reagan would have just forgotten and then threw his Jellybeans and them. KGBeast has a list with 10 names on them and he kills 9 of 10. Reagan gets Secret Service & The Dark Knight. You know, Bruce is a millionaire and he probably got Reagan to hook him up for a upper class Tax Cut. Hey, all those capes and Batmobiles ain’t cheap. Batman probably get’s a tax write off for green speedo’s. Hence why he keeps Robin’s ass around. Wait,what was I talking about? Huh? Oh yea, Batman vs. KGBeast. You know the deal, KGBeast kills, Batman doesn’t make the save, and can’t bring himself to kill a man, (Thank God, Frank Miller didn’t write this!) and locks him in a room behind a solid steel door and walks away. So uhmm, yeah, Batman don’t kill. But he sure will lock your ass up in a room with no water and food…………..Isn’t Bats the good guy?  It’s late and I’m sleepy. Go check out the trailers I told you guys about and drop me a line at theverbalmosh@gmail.com. And like Batman after the cops show up, I’m off to dance in the dark and take children off the streets to play dress up and live with me. ( Michael Jackson?)



-Tash Moore


 

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