Sunday, August 16, 2015

Comics Rant: New X-Men #130

New X-Men #130
Written By Grant Morrison
Drawn By Igor Kordey
Colored By Dave McGaig

Prof. X and Jean Grey continue to team up with the mutant Fantomex to bring down Weapon XII. Oh, and maybe save some lives in the process. But hey, when you can barely keep yourself from being turned into a god damned cripple all the time, it’s hard to see Prof. X doing anything other than falling over and blaming somenone else for why he failed.

‘Hmmm, there’s a pumpkin bomb here, along with a glider. This can only be the work of Magneto! That monster.”

Magneto rolls eyes. “You know, we are in the Marvel Univere, you dick.”

Prof. X and facts. Go together like oil and water. Or just like when the fuck did this guy become a legit teacher. If X-Men has taught me anything, is that if you take a group of runaway kids and force them to wear spandex and do you bidding, like say sending them off to their deaths, nobody will call child services. Or the cops, for that matter.

Jean and Prof.X do the whole team up thing to save the French X-Men who are still in once piece and try to bring down Weapon XII. Hey, once again Fantomex keeps bringing up the Jean is attracted to him. Geez, you’d thing that the writer was totally trying to force a connection. Not Grant Morrison, no sir. Fantomex kills Weapon XII with his uhmm, powers. Well, really it was some guns that dude had with him, but you know.

Prof. X  tries to help out by using his mind control powers, that he said he’d never use to take over another’s mind, by doing what? Why, taking over the mind of the Multiple Man. Jerk. So thanks to Jean working with everything’ she’s got. She’s working so hard, she’s bleeding from the nose. Dang. The three of them save the day and several inoncent Humans and Mutants. But really, where they really innocent? Only Grant Morrison knows for sure.

With Weapon XII dead, the government shows up and takes the body away. Prof. X tries to get some legit answers, but an Army General shows up. Prof. X tries to take command but like more people in the country of France, once the Army General shows backbone, Xavier melts. No word on if it was an unconditional surrender. Fantomex then makes a break but not before macking on Jean Grey one more time.

Fantomex also tells Jean the truth, he’s really Weapon 13 and he needed their help to kill Weapon XII. He then takes all the information on all the different mutant weapons created  by the US Government and heads for the hills. Hell, he even talks Jean into creating a wave of rocks to help him get out of France and out of the Government hands. So Fantomex got over huge. Not only did he ruin the Government’s secret weapons, he conned the X-Men and Prof. X to help him do it. For free. So much for Xavier being the smart one. So tune in next week where you get more X-Men action, but you know, back in the USA. Where the stories count. Because the X-Men in France sure as hell don’t count.

-Tash Moore

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