Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Comics Rant: Action Comics #587

Action Comics #587
Love is in the air. Manly love that is!
Written and Penciled By John Byrne
Inked By Dick Giordano
Colored By Tom Ziuko

The Superman team up books continues. With much fanfare I might add. DC in the late 80’s was promoting the hell out of it’s Superman line of comics. And with much reason I might add. After a slight sales slump (Something that Batman titles don’t know a thing about.) DC decided to reboot Big Blue. Letting John Byrne hotshot the relaunched Superman book and let him turn Action Comics into the Superman team up book. Which I’ll admit was a good idea because let’s face, it’s always fun to have Superman interact with other heroes and villains of the DCU. Plus, I’m sure it kept John Byrne creatively happy, All while collecting a paycheck and bashing Chris Claremont, which to be fair, is pretty much warranted. Amirite? Of course, I am. On to the rant.

Jason Blood and some pals are shooting the shit over in Gotham City. Because if Gotham on Fox has taught us anything, is that crazy shit happens there for no reason. Like children falling into caves and crazy people breaking out of prison with no one batting a fucking eye. Huh. Just like in real life. Minus the federal funds for said loony bin. I know if I was Gotham’s Congressmen, I’d demand some accountability for what’s going down in Arkham. That or just really wait for my kickback. Ahem. Forgot what I was going on about.

So Jason Blood and friends are in a small antiques shop when Jason’s female friend opens up a small toy and boom, everyone that gets touched by the small shards of glass become apart of the tower and it’s starts growing wildly out of control. Jason Blood is also the Demon, Etrigan, You know, the one that talks in rhyme. He’s also a really cool Jack Kirby creation. DC being classy, also made sure that the King’s name was listed as creator of Etrigan. No doubt, Stan Lee stole said royalty checks from DC and tried to cash them himself, to no avail.

Soooo, Since this is still a comic book, Superman just happens to be flying by. He sees Etrigan so naturally in Superhero team ups they fight. Then, of course, Etrigan is all like “Hey, moron, these giant glass post are people transformed by a spell.” Superman being the ultimate by scout is horrified. Etrigan can tell using his powerful nose (TM Toucan Sam.) that magic is the root and uses some funky spell to send Superman back in time, to team up with young Etrigan. It’s a team up inside of a team up. Freaky. So Superman along with young(ish?) Etrigan that Morgan Le Fey build the crystal cage as a way to bring her to the present and taking over us mortals in the far flung future. Wait, I’m confused. Shit, if only the X-Men stuck to time travel. Needs more big blue cats, clearly. So with Etrigan’s advice, Superman smashes up Morgan’s template( Does the Hulk know that Superman is stealing his gimmick?)  and boom, every goes back to the way it was. With no one being the wiser. And no one learning a lesson……I hate time travel!!!!!

-Tash Moore

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