Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Comics Rant: Midnighter #4

Midnighter #4
Written By Steve Orlando
Drawn By Stephen Mooney
Colored By Romulo Fajardo, Jr.

Well, well, well would you look at that? I have a new rant and it’s a modern comic book. Go figure. After wrapping up a new episode of The Verbal Mosh Podcast, I figured that now would be a good enough time as any to hammer this rant out. So to quickly fill you in, Midnighter, who was cool when he wasn’t so damn watered down in the pages of Mark Millar’s The Authority, has his own ongoing (if sales permit it) title. For the few of you who don’t know, he got his gifts from the God Garden (TM Warren Ellis.) and those cool WMD’s have been stolen. Along with his long lost stolen file with all his info on it, that he never knew about. Think Wolverine but totally getting it on with dudes. Wait, think Batman but totally getting it on with dudes. Wait, wait, wait, think if Wolverine and Batman had a baby. That pretty much sums up Midnighter.

Taking a page from Batman’s book is Midnigher kidnapping and then forcing the former Robin, Dick Grayson to be his partner for this issue. In Russia, the bad guy who stole the God Garden tech has been using it to charge rich white dudes a ton of cash to join up with pals to act out their weird fantasy of being superheroes by killing Vampires. And I ain’t talking the goofy ass Twilight ones. I’m talking 1940’s horror themed ones. Kind of like Stephen Mooney, who clearly swiped the design for his vampires in this ish.

But hey, at least the action parts of the book are pretty smooth, kind of like Colt 45. Hey, if Billy D. is correct, it works every time. Sort of like Midnighter. Grayson and Midnighter follow some of the goobers who killed a vampire earlier in the evening to a sauna. Of course, Midnighter and Grayson hold their own in a fight, that’s all these guys do. Hell, one scene that made me legit laugh is Midnighter threatening to shove hot coal from the sauna up one the bad guy’s asses. That would totally make James Bond say uncle. Bond villains, take note.  Shoving hot coal up someone’s ass will clearly make them talk. Oh, shit, thank god Steve Orlando didn’t work at Gitmo. Dick Cheney would have used that shit on the detainees. For info. Or maybe just for fun. Or both.

The Vampires aren’t real mind you. Midnighter and his boy toy (Grayson.) using some samples find that they are made using the God Garden tech that uses the alien DNA from the Martian Manhunter to turn humans into these “Vampires” to be used and hunted for sport and fee.  Midnighter, of course kills all the bad guys, because that’s his super power. That and getting super wasted and still being able to stand. The ending had the guy who created the “Vampires” named Akakyevich who’s next plot is to create an army of Midnighters to sell to the highest bidder. Excitement, she wrote. Fun issue with lots of craziness, just the way I like and this is by far the best issue of Midnighter, so far. Good stuff.

-Tash Moore

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