Sunday, September 6, 2015

Comics Rant: Superman #4

Erotic in some way? No?
Superman #4
Written and Penciled By John Byrne
Inked By Karl Kesel
Colored By Anthony Tollin

Violence, she wrote. No, I kid. There’s tons of it in this issue of Superman. No, really. Tash Moore here, and unlike some of the other people, I’m here with this rant, for you, the people. That’s right. All five of you. Don’t say I never did anything for you. Before I disappear under the wave that is a new NFL season, I’m still taking a strong look at John Byrne’s Man of Steel work. Sure, DC has thrown it to the side to make way for more Frank Miller Batman shit, but they gotta pay the bills. When did Superman every put DC on the map? Oh?

All that aside, this issue begins with Jimmy Olsen on a date.
With Lois Lane’s sister no less. He’s trying to pump her for information for a story he’s working on when BAM!! Some dude who totally looks like a Punisher (Not Wild Dog.)  reject comes barging in the restaurant and starts shooting shit up. (Kinda like how things are now.) Jimmy and Lois’s sister make it out okay. But Jimmy uses his watch to call the Man of Steel.  Superman shows up and is horrified to see the loss of life. Kinda like how things are now.

The main bad guys name is Blood Sport (How original.) He’s gonna shoot up American’s because they’ve gotten too soft. He’s mad that all the time he severed in Vietnam has been for nothing. You know, if they retold this tale with Iraq instead of Vietnam, you could get away with it. Shit, I bet someone already has. Ahem. Superman is going to put a stop to this Blood Sport, Cause you know, it’s kind of what he does. Along with whole saving Lois Lane thing. It’s how he’ll collect Social Security.

Blood Sport is getting his weapons by using teleportation. Which, looks like they’re just showing up out of thin air, which at first made me think that they were imaginary. I don’t know. So Blood Sport and Superman come face to face. But since bullets just bounce off Supes, Blood Sport has an ace in the hole. In the form of Kyrptonite. Which leads Superman to believe that Blood Sport is being funded by none other than Lex “I’m not really bald. It‘s a fashion statement.” Luthor.  Since Blood Sport ain’t just killing Superman, the moron is also blowing up large chucks of Metropolis. Lex can’t have that, seeing as how the city is pretty much his bread and butter.

Lex tries to recall Blood Sport but to no avail. When they say the devils in the detail they ain’t kidding. Turns out earlier in the tale, Blood Sport spoke about how he and his brother went over to ’Nam. Jimmy tracks down Blood Sports brother (That was easy.)  and the tale unfolds about how Blood sport was too afraid to fight in the war and fled to Canada, so his older brother pretended to be him and went in his place, losing his arms and legs while fighting. Blood sport breaks down and ends his rampage. The story ends with a nod to all who fought and served their nation to the best of their abilities during a very tumultuous time. They are the real heroes and we sometimes,too often forget.

-Tash Moore

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