Saturday, December 5, 2015

Comics Rant: Superman #45

Superman #45
Written By Gene Luen Yang
Drawn By Howard Porter
Colored By Hi-Fi

Hold on to your hats, folks, because this is going to get weird. Tash Moore here and with what little free time I have, I sat down on my couch and I got around to reading Superman #45 and man, I got a really good kick out of it. Parts of the book was good and some bad, but I did leave the reading with a laugh. Okay, to bring those of you who aren't reading this comic on the regular, Superman no longer has the Clark Kent guise to lean on. Yeah, you read that right. Everyone knows Big Blue's Secret I.D.

Seems like an internet terror group (Trolls) named Hordr has been using security cams and cell phones and all that to learn people's secrets and then exploit them. Huh. Sounds like Dick Cheney and crew to me. So Hordr tries to blackmail Supes. Typical Supes is all gonna be "Okay I'll do what you say. Just don't reveal my secret, yo."  But Lois Lane jumps the gun and drops the dime to the Daily Planet!
Lois is all like "I did it for you, Clark. I'm setting you free." Yeah, Lois, you really helped by putting my entire family and line of friends in danger. Remind Superman to never fucking call Lois to help move. Bitch might be inclinded to put poor Clark's Social Secuirty number on the world wide web.

Big Blue follows Hordr to Oakland, California. He could have taken in a Raiders game, but then he could have just hung out over in San Fran but whatever. Wait, that might now be a good idea. I mean DC does like to keep Superman kind of on the conservative side. I mean, hell, they did recall issues of Action Comics that once had Superman drinking a cold beer with his old man, Pa Kent. So yeah.

Superman finds himself in Oakland and gets into a fight with some dude named Apolaki. Yeah, I don't know who this dude is either. But Superman follows Apolaki's broken robot parts to, I kid you not, an underground mexican wrestling league! Yes, that it not a typo, ya'll. Superman takes up Lucha Libre. Wrestling, for you Gringos. And why does Superman do all this? Well, one is to try to find out from the super powered lucha guys just how Hordr works. Wow, I really think the story got away from the writer. I think drugs may have gotten to this guy. Or tacos. That's another thing that got Supes to start wrestling. Dude was broke. Superman needed money for tacos. Again, I am not making this shit up.

I know somewhere, Paul Letvitz is screaming out and begging some of the powers that be to recall this issue and burn them. This was a strange issue. It was a depature from what we normally get in the standard Superman comic and I guess that's okay from time to time. I'll enjoy this far out nonsense for the time that we get it becuasue I just know that it'll go right back to monthly tales of the Man of Steel beating up the bad guy of the month, so it's 3 out of 5 from me.

-Tash Moore

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