Thursday, June 2, 2016

Comics Rant: Amazing Spider-Man #11

Amazing Spider-Man #11
Written by Dan Slott
Penciled by Giuseppe Camuncoli
Inked by Cam Smith
Colored by Marte Gracia

After 11 issues we get this, the final (for now, anyway) tale of Spidey going up against the Zodiac, most notably Scorpio. Boy, is it a fun read. So this issue starts off with Nick Fury (the new one, not the old, cooler one) being stuck at the International Space Station because of Spidey wrecking the damn thing two issues ago. With all communication down, Fury is not going anywhere for a long time. I hope he remembered to bring a magazine or something. Something tells me if he did it wouldn't be People. It'd be Jet!


Over in Europe Scorpio finds the giant key hole to use his giant ass key in. Hey, don't ask me, I didn't come up the highly erotic plot to this issue. Spidey feels like he let the whole world down when he didn't stop Scorpio from getting away. Hate to break it to you Pete, but you totally did. He might as well go home and jump in a bubble bath. But before we get that whole deal Nick Fury uses Morse Code to communicate with our webbed hero when he can find Scorpio. Thank god for that plot device.

Spider-Man, Mockingbird, Anna Maria and the Living Brain (which is a vessel for our good pal, Doc Ock) track Scorpio to his base and stop him from using his big ass key. By how, you might ask. Fighting, duh. For a dude who's super smart, Peter Parker sure resorts to knocking people the fuck out 99% of the time. The rest, he's just using his smarts (smrts?) to knock yo ass out....with a very heavy book.

Even Brain is out to start offing people, but Spidey reminds him to keep it PG, for the kids and people who'll kick up a shit storm on the Internet if Spidey pulls a 180 and just starts mercing folks. Mockingbird, Anna Maria and Brain keep the other members of Zodiac at bay while Spider-Man and Scorpio go Mano-a-Mano. Scorpio gets the upper hand and uses his Zodiac Key to open a door to show him one year in the future. He gets all the good info like, where is Norman Osborn and what's he been up to, and if we ever get a good DC movie. I'm betting none on that one.

Spider-Man, like the true hero he is, fucking pushes Scorpio into the doorway, closes it shut and takes the key. Locking him away. Wait what? For all we know, Spidey just up and killed this dude, straight up, son. Okay, well, maybe he didn't do that. Scorpio might be floating in a parallel world like on Spider-Man the Animated Series. Or not. Whatever happened, you can be sure Scorpio to be back and want revenge. That and really want something to eat. I know I would.

-Tash Moore

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