Friday, October 28, 2016

Comics Rant: All Star Batman #2

All Star Batman #2
Written by Scott Snyder
Pencils by John Romita Jr. & Declan Shalvey
Inks by Declan Shalvey & Danny Miki
Colors by Dean White & Jordie Bellaire

What a jumbled up fucking mess. Two stories interwoven here. One with Batman trying to get Two Face to some antidote that he's got that can cure him, (don't ask) and one with the new Robin, Duke. I'll be honest, I could care less about this kid. Think of him as 1980's Jason Todd. Nobody cares, no matter how hard they try. He's like Roman Reigns. Try as they might, but fans don't care. They want Robin in some damn pixie boots

Batman has Two Face handcuffed to
keep him close by when Killer Croc, King Shark, and Amygdala attack the Dark Knight, but this is Scott Snyder's Batman, you know, the one who relies on gadgets to beat them up. God forbid he uses his near human perfection fighting skills to win, but hey, you can't have everything.

As soon as Bats thinks things are okay, Copperhead and Cheshire get a few arrows off on Batman. Hell, some of them even connect, piercing Batman's stomach. That's gotta hurt. Batman crashes the damn train he and Two Face are on, because he's Batman! Batman starts dragging Two Face away when some crooked cops show up on the scene. You just know they want the money Two Face is trying to give away to stop Batman from curing him, so they shoot Batman. The dude has Kevlar armor so he's only knocked unconscious. Heh. Auto correct almost changed that to uncomfortable.

Batman wakes up and kicks every one of the crooked cops' asses and recaptures Two Face. Funny, the only thing I beat up when I wake up are some fucking waffles. Hey, look, it's KGBeast. He shows up. And starts shooting at Batman and Two Face. Yeah he's here. He was hired by Penguin, Black Mask, and some other dude I can't recall to finally kill Bats. Shit, this story is the equivalent of taking all your damn toys into the tub with you.

We cut away from that part of the story to see Jim Gordon and the Gotham City Police Department breaking and entering Wayne Manor and then tearing down the grandfather clock that leads to the Batcave! Well, hell, this is the most interesting thing to happen here. Questions. Why is Gordon and the GCPD here and how do they know where the Batcave would be. I'll pick up the next issue to get my fix. Oh and a backup story with the new Robin, Duke. I ain't reading that. You can, and do email the deets. Stay safe.

-Tash Moore

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