Thursday, November 17, 2016

Comics Rant: All Star Batman #3

All Star Batman #3
Written by Scott Snyder
Penciled by John Romita, Jr.
Inked by Danny Miki
Colored by Dean White

Batman, Two Face, and the KGBeast, all right here. Well, from what I read in this issue of All Star Batman, KGBeast just wants to be called just the Beast. Like what, a sexy beast? I think not, but hey, you can tell he works out. The Gotham mob bosses of Black Mask and the Penguin have hired KGBeast to kill Batman and Two Face. Just one problem. KGBeast charges a fucking huge fee for his services. Black Mask wonders out loud what will happen to him and Penguin when KGBeast finds out they can't possibly afford to pay him. But that will have to wait for another issue.

Batman has his ass saved when the new Robin, Duke, shows up to help. Blasting heavy metal no less. Man, how lame is Duke that they can't give him a legit code name. The folks at DC were just like "What should we call him, Robin 2?" "Eh, let's just go with his real name!" You can't buy talent like that, folks. Trust me gang, the people over at DC tried.

Duke, Batman, and Two Face make a great escape via the Bat-Van. KGBeast gets distracted enough for them to make a break, but before he can pressure, the Royal Flush gang show up to try to one up KGBeast to get the prize money that Two Face is offering for his safe return. In true bad ass fashion, KGBeast just shoots the Royal Flush gang out of the air and kills them. Awesome.

Batman and Duke are able to make their way to a safe house and holy shit! It's Harold.!!!!!  You know, the mute guy who used to live in the Batcave and make weapons for Batman? Well, if you don't then you're way too damn young and if you do, isn't it kinda creepy for Batman to have a guy like that working in his cave making gadgets for him? Well, once you start thinking about Batman in general it gets a little silly, so it's best not to think about it.

Hey, this is the new politically correct DC, and Harold can speak now. Good for him, 'cause that sign language shit just wasn't getting over on me. Duke and Batman take an injured Two Face on a boat to try to get to a safe house where Bruce and Harvey Dent once shared a romance together as kids. Okay, maybe not all that but hey, close enough right? The Royal Flush gang attacks again and they save Two Face and ambush Duke and Batman, leading to Two Face pouring acid on the left side of Batman's face. Say what the fuck now???!??! This issue picked up the story and action. There was a great fight sequence with Batman and KGBeast that has to be seen to believe. Violent and awesome stuff. Thumbs up fam.

-Tash Moore

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