Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Comics Rant: All Star Batman #4

All Star Batman #4
Written by Scott Snyder
Pencils by John Romita, Jr & Declan Shalvey
Inked by Declan Shalvey & Danny Miki
Colors by Dean White & Jordie Bellaire

Well, four issues in and I still can't really tell you just what the fuck is going on. I kind of think that's what Scott Snyder is going for here. As far as John Romita, Jr., well, I'm sure he's just happy to get a check from DC comics that actually clears. No, wait, only Marvel sends fake checks. Just ask Jack Kirby. I'd like to think that Stan Lee is still out there, after all theses years, holding on to them. Out of spite. Or not. But hey, I can troll, can't I?

On to the rant. Batman and Duke, (which is still a stupid ass code name. I mean, its not even a code name, it's his real name!)
are busy trying to get Two-Face to.... somewhere? Its far, I think. When the Court of Owls sends some of their Talons to intercept Batman and Duke (and it still is not as cool sounding as Batman and Robin), they tie Bats and Duke up and Two Face then pours acid over Batman's face. Thankfully, Batman has his Bat-glass-mask to cover his exposed face so the acid only temporarily blinds him.

How does our hero fight back? Why quite simple really. And yes, you're going to love this. Batman has sonar built into his chest plate that blasts Duke's pre-Justice League thrash metal band from him to stun the Talons!!! It's fucking awesome and dumb as shit all at the same time! Clearly, Snyder did some blow when he sent the plot in. Scott Snyder has gotten to his Grant Morrison phase. Attach his name to a comic with no substance whatsoever, book is then sold to retailer, fans don't buy as much as retailers set orders, but the book is a huge "success". Yup. The Morrison phase.

With the heroes (& Two Face) free, they get attacked by KGBeast and Penguin. I completely forgot that Penguin was hunting them, too. I wonder how KGBeast is going to feel when he learns Penguin can't pay his ass. I wonder if KGBeast could be fooled into being paid in Wheat. Hey, the Russians alway need that shit. Funny part when KGBeast talks about taking Batman to his island and hunting him for a few years. Me thinks KGBeast would be no good when it comes to a date. When it looks like it's a wrap for Batman, Duke, (or Ruke?) and Two Face, the people of Gotham show up to save them and shoot up Penguin's hide out. Damn, the people of Gotham are violent as shit.

This issue finishes off with Batman, Duke and Two Face making a break for it and heading off a few more miles to their destination. Okay issue this time around, not great at all. John Romita must have seen Batman V Superman one too many times because he's starting to draw Batman to look way too much like Ben Affleck. Yet again, I am not reading the back up. Too confusing! On that note, this gets half a thumb.

-Tash Moore

No comments:

Post a Comment