Saturday, March 18, 2017

Comics Rant: Mighty Thor #15

Mighty Thor #15
Written by Jason Aaron
Drawn by Russell Dauterman
Colored by Matthew Wilson

Even though it's issue #15, the good folks over at the House of (recycled) Ideas made sure that we got a brand new #1 thrown right up in the upper right hand corner. God forbid we DON'T confuse our newer readers. I'm kidding, there are no new readers. But sadly, this is all I have to gripe about for the issue.

As Heimdall stands
watch at the Rainbow Bridge, the Shi'ar Royal Guard, lead by the awesomely designed Gladiator, attacks! Even though he has a purple mohawk, I still think this design is so simple yet outlandish, it shows how creative Marvel was back in the day. Can we also point out that you gotta be pretty damn fast to sneak up on Heimdall? The Shi'ar totally did. Took them only a blink of an eye to sneak up on Asgard. Now, that's fast. If only my wireless provider was like that. >Sniff<

Gladiator, of course kicks the shit out of Heimdall. Why, you might ask, cuz he's freaking awesome. This of course, brings all of the Gods in Asgard to lend a hand to Heimdall. Oh, and an eye, too, cuz Gladiator did a number on him. Evil asshole, Cul, bitch ass brother to Odin, wants Jane Foster to resign from the Congress of Worlds. The more I think of it, I haven't seen anything that has to deal with that in a meaningful way in some time. Kinda like the US Congress! Burn.

Thor is pissed, so naturally she needs something to hit. Oh, hey, would you look at that. There's an intergalactic war raging outside of her apartment in Asgard. The rent must be out of this world. (Get it?) What are the odds of that happening. Wait, it is Asgard so I'll shut up now. Thor shows up with her hammer and starts kicking ass. That ends once she attacks Gladiator.

She decks him with everything she's got! It barely makes a dent. Gladiator overpowers her and slams her around the building in the area bringing them down. Think all the overbearing wanton destruction in "Man of Steel." It's just like that. But now that Gladiator has his hands on Thor, the Shi'ar teleport with her and go on their merry way. Huh. They could have cleaned up the fucking mess they made!

Back on the Shi'ar warship, Gladiator tosses Thor to the Gods of the Shi'ar and tells her to beg for mercy. That was intense. Great pacing with the story and Russell Dauterman knocked a homer for his depiction of the Shi'ar. Kinda makes you forget how late this damn book is! That or how late I am with this rant! Hey, we're both right.

-Tash Moore

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